About two years ago, I began to do a lot of research and learnt about a COPD TREATMENT from Rich Herbs Foundation and their success rate with the treatment,i immediately started on the treatment, i started experience reduction/decline in major symptoms, including the shortness of breath, fatigue, cough and wheezing. I have friends, but sadly I´ve learned, in a very brutal way that people shy away from grief. I have trouble sleeping and I’m unbelievably forgetful. He was born with mild brain damage and mild cerebral palsy. Try to learn to be kind to yourself, and to surround yourself with friends that you trust and who are supportive. It still hurts so much. I lost my mother nearly 3 months ago due to complications with multiple scerlosis, I felt like I was coping really well but it’s her birthday today and she would of only been 59 and I’ve been experiencing tightness in my chest and shortness of breath. Remember that you mother only wants for you to be happy. If any of you have any tips, it would be a blessing if I could get some help. It’s hard to concentrate and get things done. I went from having everyone I loved around me & a part of my daily life , to no one . GeorgiaHippie  August 16, 2017 at 5:17 pm Reply. Hi Catherine. She through a blood clot after ankle surgery. It was sudden and unexpected. I am struggling, everyday I struggle, I currently have an ear infection. They kept trying to get her to walk and from that had a seizure which took 3 times more than the normal dose of meds to sedate her and she was out for days .Then she became ill with water and chest infections. I just read your sweet post. She passed from Stage 4 kidney/lung cancer. He’s not here, but his spirit is. My parents, brother and many loved friends have died, but losing a child is not like any other loss. The fatigue you’re experiencing is so normal. i have a lot of agonising voodoo black magic grips on my body & circulation & no-one can help .these is lot of abuse psycho & this is terrible these invasions & violations. sometimes i go and look at our text messages. Mary Timmons  July 8, 2019 at 3:18 am Reply. Hi my brother passed in Dec 2010 2 days before his birthday and close to Christmas,I started having gallbladder pain and back and hip pain and just all over body pain,went to a docteror foe a hip exray but he didn’t find any problems,but my gallbladder might need surgery,I never Hirt this much before,me and my brother were close…..I just want to stop hirting? I have noticed I’m always lethargic, and wasn’t sure if I was just getting sick, but it has been dragging on now beyond sickness. I did not eat for days can’t work my head feels like trash. Got kidney stones had kidney stone surgery that failed had catheter out back, diabetic episodes kidney stone surgery again cancer came back another stroke died 12/05/18 He was going to retire I spent a lot of time with him as that is all he wanted. Drug overdoses are rampant. He was real. Your mom LOVED you, no matter what took her. His mother was there she said she was there when he was born and she was there when he left this world. We were very very close and she was a great mother and friend. So I cry or think about him so often and everytime I do I get pains likeperiods pains or labour pains….sometimes i even bleed. I didn’t know that I received those messages from him until hours afterwards when my brother started calling my phone back to back. Besides being his caretaker, I also have a full time job and take care of everything in the house. But if you need to talk to someone, I will talk to you. Hold on to your memories of your mom and remember the special times you shared. Take it a day at a time, see if you’re able to get some counseling or join a bereavement group. I only saw her once before she passed. I really appreciate this article and everyone’s posts. My darling vet (bless her heart) reminded me. And like you, I was widowed at a young age. On October 29, after losing her grandpa and breaking up with her BF, she tried taking her life via an overdose. Despite this person´s personal issues towards the end of his life, I considered him my only family, together with my father, whom I was extremely close to. by the end of that week it had got very bad, he was coughing and in pain, we went to the doctor because little bits of blood were being coughed up, he was sent to hospital. Me as well. Reminds me I’ll survive this time too. She had 3 aneurysms on December 12, god didn’t even give me a glimpse of hope. All we talked about was having babies together one day. Does it ever end? You feel exhausted all the time. She was 78. I created a small-step goals for myself. Instead of waking up and thinking “Oh great, another day to spend alone. That woman put me through a living hell. She died suddenly & unexpectedly from an arterial bleed. and i can’t sleep. Me too. uo and to be happy. He was predeceased by his son Michael Jr. (1971) and his wife Maureen (2020). It happened in her sleep, so I am not sure. All I can say is that whenever I go into that state of despair and hurt and sadness I Look to God for his comfort and peace and he gives it to me for that moment. Life is different now. Sadly, it interfered with my time with my dad. Had a physical and all is good. I am hoping this feeling goes away, as I am older and still want to live out my life. Mark Mandel  March 24, 2017 at 12:28 pm Reply. I hate this. I I lost my my mom suddenly just over a year ago and I feel so lost, confused all those feelings you are similar how ur describing. My sister-in-law was murdered at the age of 30. After the 5th day I felt brand new no joke every pain was gone. And the amount of grief and guilt it takes to drink your self to death…I can’t wrap my head around it. Just feel like I am losing my mind. I’m an only child this is so hard so for me. I just don’t know how to get over this. Been suffering as it feels like post traumatic stress since we had so many van rides doctor visits, hospital stays and other issues. Robin  December 17, 2020 at 12:43 pm Reply. in a nd out of hospital and 1 dose of Chemo and he died on the 5th September 2018. only 11 weeks later. I picked her up and helped her to the bathroom I told her “I love you Mama” and then she started throwing and and then went limp and almost hit her head I caught her and craddled her and just held her and the whole time I was thinking “Lord this can’t be her time. It’s a very traumatic In your life. Anyway, I just wanted to say: “You’re not alone!” Hugs and prayers to you and your Mom. My mother’s husband died at age 64 just last week on December 4th 2019 in another state that borders ours while he was alone with only my 10 year old nephew as my mother could no longer be present with them, since she died just last December on the 28th of 2018. Ive never experienced this type of loss. and do nothing. I was so bad I could not travel from NC to PA for her funeral…what a very sad thing. I spent Christmas and New Years eve alone in bed. He drowned. I understand. It’s the only thing that has helped me sleep. I am thankful for your posts. My dad died 2 months ago, we’ve been moving on so far so good, already cleaned my dad’s closet, got back to our lifes pretty quick, and we obviously have our good days and our bad days (with we i mean me and my mom), ever since it happened i’ve had gastritis and awful back pains that reflects on my chest, i cant seem to remember things too well, like i even thought i lost my card at the ATM calles the bank and cancelled it, and the card was in my purse in its place as always… so, I know some time has passes, and i know its normal, but do I have to work harder on it because its been longer than usual or it still going to take a couple more months? I was on Advair and albuteral inhaler. I am a middle school teacher, and my greatest pleasures are not expensive, walks in the park, going to the gym, im 53, finding a great deal at a store. Hugs to you both, Nina and Christina. Even though she hasn’t passed yet, I feel this pain. Thank you and god bless, Jess, Amie  January 14, 2021 at 12:44 pm Reply. I had not associated these with my grief before finding your site here, but now I am wondering if there is a connection. I cry for no reason, anytime, anywhere. I get angry quickly but then recognize it’s the easiest emotion to fall back on. I try to stay busy but the sadness comes in waves and I start crying. I could not take the pain no more thought maybe I would drive my truck right over a bridge and end it. After visiting with them I get in my car and type in my phone, “physical grief”. I’m going more into my shell and spend hours drawing. Not a day goes by that I dont miss her, wishing for one more hug, a kiss, a story about her growing up, or listening to our favorite music. John Alderden  August 23, 2018 at 2:20 pm Reply, Does anyone else wish they were not alive to deal with the grief? I had moved away right before his terminal diagnosis so the day he died I had a ten hour drive to get to him. I’m 32. I am trying to carry everyday life on my shoulder and everyone seem to think i’m fine. To have her so far away and sick goes against every my instinct. He had suffered greatly over 8 months from brain cancer. I have been wondering how come I am so exhausted after crying. I’m very short-sighted anyway, so the feeling that I was losing my sight was really scary, as my ability to see clearly and focus seemed to get worse, especially in artificial light and twilight. I lost my brother, only sibling, 6 months ago to MS. it doesn’t feel real. It felt like I took all the breath out of my and my hands started shaking and I couldn’t hold anything and I just started crying and crying. c om. I am retired so no longer have work to keep me busy. It was also the day we moved her to rehab center/nursing home. We cannot live without great love and we cannot have great love without feeling great loss. I pray and ask mom to please give me just one minute of feeling normal. I am able to control the crying better but still at random cry in public, forgetting a lot of things- I almost left my phone in public, feeling hallucinations. I buried my baby boy this past August from an intentional drug overdose. The more of us that consciously speak our truth in the spirit of honesty & peace~ the better! We just lost our 12 year old Brussels Griffon, Thor, unexpectedly on Wednesday. “I buried my daughter three weeks ago. I lost my boyfriend and the father of my two daughters in August 2016, to homicide. I feel like life is beating me up. This is all valuable information to those new to grief. So sorry for your loss, Merlia. I thought that by now I would have semi returned to the person I was but have realised that, that person doesn’t exist anymore, but it is really hard needing to stay in my job but really just wanting to take time out for myself to recover. I told him no stupid tea could take this pain away I had spent thousands on doctor’s and meds. Reading your messages here has helped me feel less lonely on this journey of grief and acceptance. Recently the triggers are so strong I nearly pass out and I just start crying and weeping from my soul I feel absolutely miserable I miss my mom so much. I’m so sorry for your loss! I still will see my doctor to make sure I am in good health (or confirm the contrary). My brother left behind a 4 year old son and a pregnant girlfriend, both whom I have vowed to help take care of. Two days ago would have been her birthday. I feel alone. Never in a million years would I imagine my best friend would be taken from me, my soulmate! His funeral is on thursday and it will be so hard to make it through it knowing he is never gonna make me laugh again with his silly chinese voice or to see the flash of his blue eyes when he was riled up over something or the feel of his warm comforting hugs. It’s always been my worst fear above all things is losing him and now I feel so hopeless that it hurts my body. We were married 24 years he was my best friend, the man of my dreams he was my whole life…. And I’m sorry for every once grief for what they’re going through to this is a hard road that we are on. It was a right brain stroke. I could not believe after a year of none stop pain it was over thank god and my brother I almost lost everything over this pain . I just miss Ginger like crazy. I’ve been thinking about having a break from university, but since i don’t know many people in the city despite from the people i’m studying with, i’m afraid to feel even more lonely. osuzq21  September 23, 2018 at 10:17 pm Reply. My dad died October 16. Your point is important, that we mustn’t ignore our bodies when they scream physically for us to pay attention. I just can’t see my life being better without him. Hugs to you too. Nancy Erskine Farmer, Elba Dwyer  November 1, 2018 at 4:15 pm Reply, Nancy first of all I’m sorry for your loss. That is a good way to put it – my anchor to the world gone in a moment. I often want to call him then i realize that he is not around anymore. I’m trying to act like I’m fine, I’m not. I was so close to them. I had a headache for almost a year could not take the pain away I thought my life was over. I feel like my muscles are being eaten away. I believe it was a type of cancer seeing as it runs in the family. Hard as it may be….I lost my only son, but was able to take home a baby that needed love from the hospital 2 years ago…he sits next to me know as I write. i held his hand till his last breath. But after the third day I felt really good? We are so sorry for your loss but take great comfort in the fact you will see her again. I have had to deal with the loss of my mother,whom I spent many a day off work to drive to another town to care for her, and then wrapping things up after her death in 2013.Then the loss of the love of my life in 2016 followed by the major life and death scare of a son who had a ruptured brain aneurysm and stroke and who now is in hospital since New Years eve 2016….On top of all this I had to take on learning to use all the outdoor equipment,dealing with a well that went dry,taking on the financial responsibility of running a house on my own while turning 65.That was more paper work, and waiting,plus taking on a heavier work load…..did I say mental exhaustion?…I’ll be glad to get out of this tunnel…..if only I could. It was an unexpected shock. I'd go to the store and her favourite song would be playing, I'd leave the house and see the year she was born upwards of 40 times in a single day. and my car broke down so, I’m alone all day and it’s so hard not to think about him. This month is getting more difficult, but now I understand that a lot that is going on with me may be from my grief. I was numb until Christmas. I could never have guessed how complex grief was in actuality, both emotionally and physically. There’s no one here to please and make happy anymore….” Each day I thank God I was blessed with him and think to myself…. My first chest x-ray only showed bronchitis. I feel like I keep getting punched in the stomach and I’m out of breath. I hope you find this relationship too. I look at all the places he should be and I imagine him there. By far the worst feeling is panic which seems to show up less often but when it does I feel absolutely overwhelmed. I can’t believe how evil he has become. Like you when I go out I usually feel a bit better, so I’m trying to meet with friends and do my work. Understanding Grief / Understanding Grief : Litsa Williams. Maybe so, but once I got checked out with my doctor i finally knew it was grief related and just knowing this helped me focus on the real issue and I began to feel a bit better. I really hope that whoever is feeling the same way I am right now is that we can get better. I’ve gone to the urgent care several times , ENT specialist , ER practically everywhere with no sign of problems.I was proscribed Prozac and later on Buspar for anxiety with very little help to the point I quit taking them both as they were making me feel worse. Don’t get me wrong, I wish my daddy and brother were here but wishing them back in this hard world is the most selfish thought I have had. She died on 12 th July when I slipped out to phone my son to get here quickly and she was gone when I went back in.. I’ve been on and off with flu for 6 months now and very fatigued. I miss her so much that I’m still nauseous alot and still cry every day. My husband doesn’t care at all. And who doesn’t need an excuse for a massage! On the morning Mum was to have an operation I managed to talk to her on the phone and told her over and over again how much I loved her and to please not leave me. That was my goodbye and I thank God for that. She suffered so much with a long drawn out illness. You took such good care of her. Joe, I am so sorry for all the loss you have been through. I’m trying so hard to be strong and I’m still going to school and smiling and laughing with everyone including my mom. My docs cant find physical reason….but when i think about it…ive been “pushing” my pain from my thoughts…it had to go somewhere….after reading this…i think my entire musculature and nervpus system got the brunt of it…its horrid and i want to get better. Now i am completely lost without him.. I wasn’t even angry, I didn’t think of anger. I learned about deep breathing and sometimes it helps just wonder how long this next phase of grieving will last. He was 16. Thanksgiving of that same year I lost my nana… watched as she took her last breathe. It was the saddest time in my life. For two months until school was ready to start again. It became just the two of us for the last 10 years and I put everything I had into giving her whatever she wanted. My stomach was a mess..my crying on and off..and for my mom also…as she lost her constant companion..and he lifted her up emotionally and physically. Just remember that your father loved you very much. My mother died in September last year and it hit me really hard. I wish you well. I would kill myself if it wasn’t for my youngest son. He didnt get the tv on or his laptop open. He’s been gone a year now and I still have anxiety, sore back, neck, tension headaches etc but I have a great doctor who wants me to come see him every 3 months for check ups. I feel sick on a daily basic. Me and Dad are feeling all these feelings. Then I remembered that I had felt like this before when my dad had passed a way. She would help them in everyway that she could and it’s rare to have somebody in your family like this , but they don’t even call to check up on me. We have had a very conflicted relationship over the years, and I am an only child. He would lay down looking through the connecting door to the garage from our kitchen, waiting either for me or my wife. Your life is not over, and you can find joy in little moments, little things, in happy memories and things to anticipate. You are all in my thoughts. To much. I don’t know what to do anymore. Dear Nina, Christine and Heather, I was looking at this site to see if my physical symptoms were typical and wasn’t expecting to see others grieving over their animal companions. I am devastated and heartbroken. The fact that it was intentional eats at me minute by minute. When I was able to get back into a clearer state of mind, I wanted to turn things around for me. I lost my husband Jan 31st 2015, he was 48 years old and it was very sudden and I tried to resuscitate him. I dont know but my heart is broken and its so unbearable to think im not going to see her ever again.  Just thinking about the call that morning gets me but i can not cry infront of anyone. His wife picked up his ashes yesterday and hasn’t contacted me or my mom since the day after he died. My dog Leo..17 yrs and 9 days passed in July of 2017…I had him since 8 weeks..was my third child…the vet said he was between 93 and 104 as a large cockapoo…beautiful white color with big black eyes. She is whom showed me this blog website, I am enjoying reading it. I have never felt physical heart ache until this. Which happens to be her birthday. Not until he was actually put into a nursing home the last two weeks was I able to have some quality time with my daddy before he passed. The only joy I have is that I know he is with Jesus and is whole and well. So I lost 2 at the same time. I know what you mean about different countries, I have travelled too & know it feels weird when something that is normal to express in one country is not in yours. Father … It’s actually my 4th illness in about a month and a half. I wonder if it’s all in my head or if im actually ill. I lost my ex-partner to alcohol, about two years ago . But, you don't need books. The grief of my pets was bad enough and admittedly I’m not through it. So my son’s death has broken me. We met in 1968 and were married in 1972. And I’m glad I was able to look after her. I finally gave up and came home because I was getting so anxious and could feel my chest getting tighter and tighter, along with a massive headache. I hang on to that and i know and feel he js close beside me watching over and guiding me through. As the article mentions before extreme grief a headache was just a headache and so on… Now every ache, pain and symptom I have I absolutely fear the worst… I’ve had headaches, dizziness, heart palpitations, chest pain, brain fog , fear of impending doom, throat pain and muscle tension you name it . She was killed by a hit and run driver at 10pm and wasn’t found until 430 am the next morning. It’s been a long road since then and I live in overwhelming emotional and physical pain and grief, I do a heavy labour job which now makes my life unbearable. I never would have believed in any of this if I hadn't experienced it every single day over the last 3 years! Mostly now, I turn to God. I’m hoping to see more positive days in the future. He has a 2 1/2 year old son that is the light of my life. Yet you have such strengh in you, to send me these powerful words of comfort – me a stranger, yet fellow griever. Thank you, TANISHA D Pinkston  November 24, 2019 at 9:50 pm Reply, Thank you for sharing , I lost my Mother yesterday 11/23 but she had a heart attack in January with no chance of recovery even though we had a few months to “prepare” it hurts like hell. It was sudden, she was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and her kidneys failed. Ever since I can’t hardly work, our business has been put on hold. ( He never had any issue with any other type treatment in his 7 1/2 year battle and I never saw him sick once.) At least he’s ok now. Heidi Kobulnicky  April 7, 2020 at 3:06 pm Reply. I feel as though you and I are kindered spirits. Thinking of you. The most recently a week ago, an older sister due to covid and her adult daughter the following day due to an overdose. I tried without knowing any of this, and have received so much more than I ever could have imagined (including 400 different books from different cultures explaining the same things, which have all been given to me for free over the last 3 years). I was so much happier at home, sitting with my memories while the kids are at school… but I know I have to stand up and keep going. I lost my father and the bestest friend I ever had. Francine olivarez  December 28, 2018 at 6:06 am Reply. I prone to narcissism. Indeed, I found your posts trying to understand the physical grief I am experiencing. I used to mock the idea of higher intelligence, until I turned to "God"/ "Source"/ "Creator", (whatever was up there and willing to listen) and begged "please don't tell me I'm alone now! I still have not turned out the light next to her bed, and I still miss her greatly. You may be seeing a connection here. Was predeceased by his son Michael Jr. ( 1971 ) and a pregnant girlfriend, both my.... 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